Saturday, October 22, 2011

Perception is taking place here.......

Recently or i should say days before, i finally understand that true heart with good intentions are not always welcome by everyone.... The sincerity given to someone will being destroyed in next minute or even seconds..... We cannot blame others because many of us know that "Give is better than take" and we know that we are giving out something with the true and sincere heart.
I cannot figure up myself as a good person or even nice people.... because i am just a human not an immortal.... I do have my senses getting along with my feelings.... I may looks strong and tough in my looks (hehe^^, actually i classify as "fat and short" (my outer looks)) but i really do have a strong and powerful heart to handle most the challenges in life. sometimes when i felt weak or restless, i will motivate myself to be strong and be patient. But times do is the best medicine in life, i am a human so i do cried sometimes or frequently but not in front of many others, i will cry in front of my closest family or special friend. As most of the times i will only cry and swallow my own tears on my bed and my pillow had became my best companion. It will absorb my tears and all the hardship that being voiced out to it. Thanks, my pillow (companion).
We are human then we cannot liked by everyone as immortal did. Then we must try our best to be the real of ourselves. I am a good example of it, i can say that i always being jokes or best material for others to generate jokes and happiness from me, as my plump body size and huge area of covering skin around my body then when they have nothing to make fun of, then i will be the "victim" but i m blessed that i have this plump body because i can understand more about others and will not laugh at others because of their features or even their personalities. As i understand the shameful of being laughed or being brought into jokes because of all the blessed features given by God, i know i may look stupid when being laughed by others then i still repay them with smile, it is regardless with high EQ but it is that i know that confrontation cannot settle up anything and will not make me look smart too, i am always thankful to God that, God has given this "passionate" in life which many people laughed at me but i always never mind, because it is a fact. I always told myself to be strong inside and tough inside because i don't have it from my looks.
Being disliked is like humiliation to others but for me is like a push factor for me to make me even more tactful and visualize for the future. I cannot pleased everyone surrounded me, what i can add on with it is "I'm sorry", i really cannot be the one who will being liked by everyone because i am a normal human. i am really just human.
I have a task from today, it is a secret within myself, when time has come then i will share it here, after that task, i think the both of us will be even happier, because happiness will surround her and my task is just a faked angel who takes care of her from distance, as long as she is happy and delighted, then i will ask for NO MORE than that. The pre-requistic is that she must be happy always but i know she will always do will. I want to talk some about my "her". She is a nice and tender lady. i can say that she is almost perfect for every criteria that should have for lady, she has all the package then when i am with him, i will always be humble to myself that told myself she deserves better man. So what is my role? I am just a guardian angel but i cannot fly (because i am too heavy and my wings cannot support me up). I will be more than happy when i saw she smile and had a great times. I am not promoting her in here but she is really a (99%) almost perfect lady and suitable to be a life-time partner but i know myself will not be her chosen one, i am not timid or getting angry with my own weaknesses but everyone should realize ownself and i am lucky that i know myself very much. What i am doing now is that i will take care of her for the time being as when she found "The One" then i will set her fly to the best one. Please don't pity or think that i am provoke myself, it is my truth words from my heart, in my heart, such a nice lady really deserve better ones. That's why, starting from now, i will give her more times to choose and in search for the best one, as i promise that i will take care of "her" with true and sincere heart. As i will not gone over the border.
As i will be the same of me, still be everyone's jokes and not taking it to heart but felt relieved that i was being focused by someone. I will still be the One that i always be, and do all the right things and do it all correctly. Shared again my feelings in the coming times.....^^

Saturday, October 1, 2011

New surroundings + new "ambience".....^^ (part II)

I have something to share about "the One" of mine. What can i say about her, she is not only a kind lady but she is always there for me whenever i needed her the much. After 305 days, i met with her.... Even still i always felt excited and blood pressure up raising when about to meet with her.... If there is someone willing to ask me when is my saddest time (cox many people said i am an "open-heart fruit"....hahahhahahha^^) i would answer them that when the times i temporary separate with my DD. Every time, after having lunch or shopping with her then it's time to go back to school, i would feel extra sad and really hard to describe the feelings....
Maybe someone would say that how can i be so emotional ??? I would say that those who ever try the best chocolate then will not say that chocolate is too sweet for him / her. I love her as who she is. We met and be together not even a year yet but my feelings toward her is more than words can be defined, our relationship is uphold with something which is invisible and tie us together.... hopefully it can tie both of us till the end of the world.... My life is full of colours which rainbows just cannot compete with my inner world's colours now.... I will also try my best to shade her world with colours and will never let her world to be dull.... DD, believe me; "I will be the One for you" and trust me nothing going to change my heart or feeling for you......

Friday, September 30, 2011

New surroundings + new "ambience".....^^ (part I)

End of Year 2010 and mid year of 2011 are really special in my "life-calendar", it marks with meaningful matters and joys.......June 2011 is really special for me, i have been transferred to a new school, in which it makes me feel so excited, anxious and unsecure for the "bright" future...... but the outcomes are really fantastic...........

Before i m going to talk and say about my new school, i would like to say something about someone (new) special in my life..... She appeared in my life in the late 2010, i would never forget the date we met and days we shared til now.... she has provided me with tender, loving and care. she actually quite a special and capable lady. From the 1st day, we met and chat, she has made me irresistible, she is a kind, lovely, pretty, cute, filial and many more good good points to be added.... she impressed me the much is her TLC... She is tat special which words are cannot described about because words are flat and cold.... she deserved better than that, that why until now i also give my best TLC for her, i appreciate her much as the ways she appreciated me too..... Both of us had gone through a long period of hardships and barriers together and till the days we be together... What can i say more about her..... her kindness and caring really cannot be described or explained with words.... What i want to say to her is that "I will love you forever and your world will be vacant with my true TLC too......" oh ya....forgot to mention her name...she is JKyy.......JKYY, BYB will love you as the who you are.......^^

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

"NO title"

SOmetimes, is it that people like to think a lot of things?? Thinking of how to get rich? thinking of how to get the best man / woman on the earth???? Thinking of something quite impossible too? I think we just cannot live as simple as we wish.......When u have a thing then u will ask for more.....later u will keep on drinking "Papsi"(wrong spelling)-Ask 4 more.......Simple life then to make us boring but demanding life makes us fell tired......then what is the best for us? I ever watched a drama named "A liter of tears" it is really touching and taught me a lot things. It taught me that at the minute / second, you still breathing then your life is well worth...when u start stop breathing, everything is too late...... I always hear my friends sa that He / She dreams of , hope of....BUT they are ot doing anything for their dreams & hopes...........(oppss.....including me-(not always)....
Hope gives us power to drive on......dream gives us a vision to search for.....but all this need million tonnes of efforts and action.......We do possess this power, action and efforts......but we just din fully utilised it. I really don understand why we promised ourselves to do this and that at the time but suddenly it can change on the is not classified as flexible but more to be ever changing.... we also always complaint after the matter has happened which do have any meaning at all...but still finding the matter's "culprit".......actually the "culprit" is us, ourself. But we did not want to admit it, then keep looking for thousands of reasons to covered up....
In 2010, i promised myself to be "sin-chan" favourite cartoon show's hero......That is "Action Man"......I want to be a man with immediate action...but until now i still cannot cope with it.....then i hope (see, i hope) to be THE ONE later after this........................^-^

Friday, October 30, 2009

Hehe!:-) Really funny MUST see....... especially those involved.....


Hehe!:-) Really miss the times we are together as ONE......

Friday, September 11, 2009

ROTI PP in memory.....

10th September 2009 was really a sad and misery day for me. Although already known it will happen but I really cannot expect that it happen so fast without waiting for me to go back. As I have planned to accompany for "his" last days, but things are not going in my will. PP had left us in the noon time, very sad and tragic too.

ROTI PP had accompanied me for many years (11 years). He had been with me since my PMR. SPM, STPM, Bac. Degree and also teaching Diploma. He was there whenever i am happy and sad. Although he couldn't talk but i know that he can understand my feeling and our conversation. He has become our family members for all these years. Whenever we go, we will try to figure out where should he be placed. He is a good and fillial dog for me(sorry I use He instead of It because he is my family member).

I still remember the first day he arrives at our home, he is small and adorable. Even still he was young, he will recognise my school van and always wait for my return from school. As he will also wait for my father to come back to home. Now he has gone, almost everything going to change because without him running here and there, for sure it will be very empty in the home. In my memory, i still remember that i will told him to look after my parents when i am not home, and he will do the same as i told. Whenever my father is sick, he will accompany him besides his bed

As, i thought he can stay longer then i can see him for the last time but my wish is not granted. I am so sorry, my PP. ROTI PP, you will always in my mind and nothing will gonna to replace you for that. As you also didn't wait for my marriage but i am grateful and appreciate for all these times. Thanks PP....................
We always LOVE and MISS you, May You rest in peace and bless for us......

Friday, August 28, 2009

School "workliday"

This year is my first year in teaching. As i am so lucky to get a great school like this and i am also that very lucky to have the chance to teach Year 6 and have to drill them to focus on their public examination(UPSR). It is really not an easy job especially when I am really don't have any experiences in teaching them before and seem like teach them again from Zero to Hero (that is one of my target for this year).

Most of them are good but their attitude in learning and life should be enhance and change. Sometimes i feel that they are not motivated enough to take the exam or they are lack of something important inside them to push them forward. I can say that I already try my very best for this past 9 months in teaching and educating them. Only GOD will know their outcomes in the UPSR later. I do hope all of them can pass (not with flying colours) but pass with the efforts they have shown and what they capable in doing. They are the future pillars of our country.

Here I blessed that they will pass their UPSR in a good manner.... May GOD bless them...... Thanks GOD...:-D